I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
