I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
