3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
