If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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