my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
