How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
