is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
