she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
