i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Bring me that man meat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
