how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
