lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am one with the molecules
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
