k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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