$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
