can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
