Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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