Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just gargled with NyQuil
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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