can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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