She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
