well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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