yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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