margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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