look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
