no. you can't hotbox the world.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
