ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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