let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
