My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
