I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Four minutes until I can fart!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
