so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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