Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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