god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
