Bisexual people are plain selfish.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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