Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
