be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
