it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
