I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
