new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
