I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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