We're like a lot better than the average bears
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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