Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
