a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
