Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
