too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
