Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
