it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
