weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
