She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
