While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I lost the right to judge tonight
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
