Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
