What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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