OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
