I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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