I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just pee around me
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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